check it out
and i’m a little bit of a bitch
"hey remember that time when you-"
*picks up phone* ah, yes sir, we got your résumé. it’s just a bunch of photoshopped pictures of Snails playing the bass guitar. you requested a salary of 3 million dollars an hour. you’re hired
Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!
You’re a liar.
“It’s almost like I subconsciously don’t want to work anymore, so I’m trying to ruin my career. [I lied and told someone] I’m pregnant!…I did this to the New York Times. My publicist called me and was like, “This is the New York Times. Be serious.” And then I found myself talking about orgies in three seconds.”